I'm on day two of avoiding CHAOS and I'm just hoping I'll have the energy to keep up my progress. I feel better about our home and about taking time to watch "American Idol" at the end of the day (or while I'm folding laundry). I still feel like there are never enough hours in the day. (I truly don't know how working mommies/wives do it!!!) I've been able to keep motivated by a few thoughts. I have this idea that our homes should be a safe, comfortable, clean environment for our families. I first heard this idea articulated in a marriage enrichment class we took from our pastor and his wife at Fellowship Baptist Church in Rome. It's one of those ideas that is just instilled so deep inside me that I forget that not everyone feels the same way. Until I heard the explanation out loud I thought it was just an expected idea. I want Jon to come home to a clean, cozy, warm house everyday. This does not always happen and he doesn't expect things to be perfect. He has never laid down such expectations for me to follow. I'm the one who has a hard time when he comes home to a house of unfolded laundry baskets, dirty dishes in the sink, whining children, and disheveled wife. Things are going much better with the new system of cleaning and home-making. It is my job to make our home and care for our children during the day. To some this may seem like an archaic way of living, but it's what we want for our family. I'm sure some women who have been married longer, have more children and/or work outside the home would laugh out loud if they read this posting. I don't know if my ideas will change in the future as our marriage grows older and as we add more children to our family. For now, I'm doing my best to make our home simply a real home. Of course there is more than just the ascetics that go into making a home "safe." Part of my new routine is a morning devotional and "me" time in the afternoon or evening. I'm also trying to dress nicely and put on a bit of makeup in the mornings before Jon leaves for school. Also a part of our life as a family is church, prayer, encouraging words and required discipline. Mae is learning her boundaries and we do our best to create consistent rules in our home. We use our manners at the table and show gratitude and love to one another throughout the day. We use kind words when speaking to one another and show respect to one another. I must say that this is not ALWAYS the case, but this is what we strive to do as a family. I've never thought to put these guidelines into words, but in avoiding CHAOS in our home my motivating thoughts have been such. It absolutely thrills me that I still want to please my husband after 4 1/2 years of marriage. This may still be the "honeymoon phase" to some couples, but consider that we've had two children, moved three times (nowhere near family), struggled financially, and stressed almost through Pharmacy School. I know it is only the strength of God that gives us strength. Jon and I are happy, truly happy. We feel and show love for one another and this love spills over to our children. I thank God for my family. Another motivational factor of eliminating CHAOS is that I'm being a good steward of what God has given us. I have had this thought even in college while cleaning my crowded dorm room shared with three other girls. Even while washing my 10+ year old car and keeping it tidy, I'm doing my best to take care of what God has provided. My house is small, almost all of our furniture has been donated by family members, our cars are older and too small but I'm thankful for what we have and I want to take care of it to the best of my ability. I want to respect the blessings and provisions from God.
I'm feeling very vulnerable by posting this on a somewhat public area, but here goes...
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Work in Progress
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3 comments:
You have the right idea with your attitude. Matt and I have been married for 10 years this coming July. We have had our share of ups and downs not ever about our marriage but finances and such. We too drive old cars, and live in a bigger now thanks for adding on, but probably could be bigger still house. We didnt even start adding on to it till Riley was a toddler. She is almost 5 now. Anyway, my van is a 2001 but i love it. Matts truck is a 99 but he loves it. We are almost out of debt and that is our goal. We dont "plan" on having more kids so since we added on to our house, its good size for just us four. For years we lived in it though before we added onto it in I think 1000sqft. four people. We added about 500sqft to it, still much smaller than most other people's homes but plenty big enough for us. Thats how I try to look at. Do i need two living rooms? Two eating rooms?? No excess is not what we are about. only having things we will use is what we are about. I think you are on the right track and eventually you will have all those nice things you want. Its funny when matt and I first married we couldnt afford anything, no cable, no internet. I remember when we first got a computer and the internet we thought it was great. People made fun of us still using our rabbit ears instead of dishing out money for cable. We couldnt afford to go out to eat very often and an extra 20 expense would really mess us up. As your kids get older it will get easier. You will find you have more as your income increases just always remember the principals you learned in this time. That you dont "need" excess ! I am still reminding myself of this daily.
BTW I think your house is pretty!
Thanks Brandie. We love our little yellow house. We're very thankful that we were able to buy it, and that the payments are actually cheaper than rent on a smaller home. We use every square footage of our house. Thanks for the reminder to avoid excess, it was well said on your blog. I do have you beat though, my car is a '95 sedan but it was given to us and we're thankful that we don't have car payments. The four of us fit perfectly, and we can fit one more small person in the middle of the two carseats if they're willing to climb over everyone else to get there. I have to take out strollers and rearrange the trunk to get groceries, but it's been a reliable car and we're grateful. We only have the internet to keep Jon at home more instead of him having to go all the way to campus to do school work. It works out nice for me too :) Our first home was like a little dollhouse...the house we have now is huge in comparision. Humble beginnings. I love hearing my parents' and granparents' stories about their rocky financial start. They laugh now and it's a special bond they share. Thanks for your comment.
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