Amazing Race Mommy

After being late for our second playdate of the day, I was describing to a fellow mommy and friend  how the Amazing Race should offer challenges that include the obstacles parents face getting their kids out the door.  For instance, the challenge might include the following:

-Wake with children, feed them, wash them (in the bathtub if necessary), brush their teeth, clip nails if needed, dress them (including "fixing" a little girls' hair properly and chasing down a toddler who doesn't like to wear clothes)
-Start a load of laundry if necessary, clean up breakfast dishes which may involve emptying dishwasher from last nights' late night run of dinner dishes
-Pack diaper bag properly, not forgetting snacks, sippy cups with name labels and any loveys or entertainment necessary for the trip
-Get MATCHING socks and shoes on kids and don't forget jackets, gloves, hats, etc...
-Heard at least two children to the car and buckle them properly in a correctly installed carseat
-You will be judged on performance, mood of children and presentation of the finished products (how well you cleaned, dressed and matched accessories on the children and yourself).
-Make sure diapers are clean and everyone has gone potty (but this doesn't eliminate you from needing to change/take a potty-training preschooler to the bathroom as soon as you reach your destination or even earlier, bonus points for keeping the toddler from touching everything in the bathroom while you help your preschooler go "potty").
- Bonus points awarded if you leave the house clean, toys picked up and a load of laundry NOT in the washing machine or damp in the dryer.  Don't forget bonus points for making yourself presentable including freshly washed hair, neatly shaved legs and makeup beyond basic powder, mascera and chapstick. 
-Of course you will be timed or you will be penalized by having to reschedule the doctor appointment if you're 10 minutes late, or even worse have to find another dentist if you don't show up on time for your first dental cleaning.  Go home, call around town for a dentist with a more lenient late policy and make another appointment for another day in which you'll have to go through this charade again and START OVER!

Preferably, I would REALLY enjoy watching someone who has NEVER had experience in this area and wonders what the big deal is about parents not being able to be on time...
Also, the children involved in this game should be under the age of four, not being able to do anything for themselves or capable of understanding the concept of TIME!!! 

Alternate challenges might include bedtime battles, naptime struggles, picky eater strategies, cleaning the house with the kids home (if the husband is home, you get bonus points for keeping the house clean).

Another portion to this game should include shopping for weekly groceries with two children under the age of three and being able to stick to your shopping list, avoid attention-getting meltdowns, saving more than 10% on your final bill (being able to shop to sales and sort your coupons while in line to pay), and getting all of this done under an hour which is about as long as you'll have before meltdowns begin - kids can't sit in a buggy for more than 30 minutes without getting restless, hungry or tired.

Well, I had fun creating this game and it sure would be fun to watch!  Sometimes I seriously feel like I'm on a timed race while trying to perform my daily tasks in the life of Mae's mommy.

"He's gonna be WILD!"

Our five-year-old nephew, Walker, spoke those prophetic words two years ago when we announced that our second child is a boy.  Jon and I are certain that as soon as Walker spoke those words, Nate's personality was instantly formed while still in the womb.  He kicked harder while I was pregnant and he could scream louder, ear-piercingly louder, than any infant I have ever heard.  Now at nearly six months away from turning two, Nate growls, squeals, climbs, tumbles and rumbles like a rough & tough wild little boy.  He loves trucks, especially when they crash.  A day spent away from his train table is agony for him, seriously.  We've quoted Walker on many occassions, describing Nate as our little wild one. 

His hands have been busy since he was three months old.  He is drawn to cars and balls, and loves loud noises and the aisle of boys' toys at a store. (While Mae on the other hand, refuses to walk down the boys' toy aisle.  She's says matter-of-fact, "It's scary, Mommy.  That one's for boys." 

However, he is the most cuddly little wild thing with which I've ever snuggled.  His screams and growls can be snuffed out by his beloved blanket and pacifier.  He'll pause in the middle of a playful mess and reach out for a hug and a kiss.  He'll back up into my lap as he pulls a dump truck, just to be held and hugged for a brief moment.  He's my Nate, my "all-boy" little boy who loves his mama so.

Simply Mae

We are constantly corrected when we refer to Mae as anything other than simply, "Mae."  Princess Mae, Baby Mae, Mater-Tater, Mae-Mae, Mae-Mae Girl or any other silly nickname calling comes with a quick reprimand from Mae.  "No, silly Mommy!  I just Mae!"  She usually says it while giggling, but for a while she was obviously offended if we added or took anything away from her name.  I love my confident, simple "Mae" and I love that she loves simply being Mae.

10 things my babies have taught me

Before having kids, I never knew that...

1. my belly really could shake like a bowl full of jelly (postpardum, that is).
2. the cries of my own child would strike a never-before felt nerve in me that is so deep I can't describe.
3. that stretch marks would truly become my proud battle scars.
4. babies are born with a radar that senses when mommy is either (a) in the shower (b) just sitting down at the dinner table or (c) just drifting off to sleep (you know that point where you're just enough asleep where it's more harmful if awoken rather than if you never tried to take a nap).
   
5. even a year after a c-section my scar still occassionaly throbs and twinges with tenderness.
6. bubbles in my belly bring back a fond memory of a baby kicking and flip-floping, and makes me actually MISS being pregnant!
7. you can actually SEE the baby move from the outside and is VERY entertaining to watch...we would sometimes turn off the tv and just watch the baby at night (FYI Babies seem to be more active when you're resting...perfect for getting mommy ready for the road ahead).
8. tears of joy come with no warning at all, and if you weren't an emotional person before having a baby YOU WILL become one afterwards!
9. when you give birth you lose brain cells, or so it seems.  I never thought I could be so forgetful and scatterbrained, and those brain cells don't seem to be returning any time soon.
10. Lastly, before having a baby I never knew that love could truly come at first sight and that something so small could completely steal your heart. 

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Mommy Cam

I wish that when our children were born a tiny camera switched on in our brains that could be recorded and saved FOREVER!  A camera that took pictures just as we see it, and takes a video that cannot be erased or faded by the years.  There are so many moments I try to capture and hold in my mind and heart forever.  I have to remind myself to take a mental picture. 
Today while walking out of Kroger, we had one baby in the stroller and another working on a gumball in the cart.  I glanced back at Jon to ask him something when I saw him ducking below the yellow balloon that was tied onto the cart.  I smiled and took a picture.  We have arrived, we ARE parents and the babies just keep getting bigger no matter what I do to try and keep them little!  I know one day I'll miss those yelps for a cookie at the bakery counter.  I'll long to hear a plea for the free baloon at the florist booth. 
After Nate's bath he found his blue blanket while I was searching for warmer PJ's before dressing him for bed.  He was running down the hall when I found him and he turned to look at me, wearing nothing but a diaper and the blue blanket wrapped like a scarf around his neck and a cape behind his back.  His hair was tossled and his blue eyes were shining as he smiled.  CLICK!  I took myself a mental picture.
These are simple, sweet moments not often remembered individually or even written about in a letter.  But they matter in the biggest of ways and I cherish the small, simple moments that happen everyday.

Maeisms

Mae refers to McDonald's as "Old MacDonald's" and it really makes me wonder what image she has in her mind when we sing the song...
We have a rule that Mae has to hold my hand while we're crossing a street or in a parking lot, but when we get in a building or on the sidewalk she can just hold onto the side of the stroller.  Every sidewalk is called "sidewalk chalk" by Mae. For example, in a sentance Mae would say, "Ok Mommy, we're on the sidewalk chalk now so I hold onto the stroller."
When we sing "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms" during the chorus Mae sings:  "Mimi, Mimi.  Safe and Secure from all alarms!"  Jon's mom should be proud, she is Mae's "Mimi!"
Every house that has a front porch is Grammie's house, no matter what city, county or state we visit.
I have celebrated my birthday at least five times a day since June.  Sometimes my candles are pine needles in the sandbox, and other times I'm presented with skinny blocks stacked on a plate while Mae sings the birthday song to me.  Her dolls, baby brother and any visitor that comes to our house has also celebrated their birthday on many occasions.
Mae can act out an entire episode of "Gigi, God's Little Princess" and even has certain "props" she uses in sync with the video...quite entertaining.
If her carseat strap, booster seat strap, grocery cart strap isn't straight and untangled then an elaborate outburst of emotion is required until the situtaion has been resolved...OCD!!  Is it possible for a three-year-old to be diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder???  Sometimes I like to call it, "first-child-syndrome."
Mae can dialogue her entire daily routine at any given moment and we better stick to it, or there's a HIGH price to pay!

Just my thoughts...

I know I'm not the only one who has ever held a toddler back from doing something he really wanted to do regardless of the consequences. For instance, Nate has discovered how fun it is to jump on a bed but doesn't understand why we won't just let him keep jumping when he gets closer to the edge. He squirms and squeals for us to put him down on the deck when we know full-well that he would topple down the stairs as soon as we let his feet touch the wood. I commented on how frustrating it is that he doesn't understand that it's for his own good, that we're just trying to keep him safe and protected. If he would just wait a minute and be patient. If he could see that soon we would let him down to run on the grass once we reached the bottom of the stairs. Eventually we would allow him to jump in the center of the bed instead of the edge and all would be safe and happy. While explaining to my 14-month-old the cause and effect relationship of getting his own way (which I believe I'll probably be explaining for years and years and years to come) a thought popped into my head about our relationship with God. Not just my personal relationship, but the relationship this country once had with the heavenly Father. If it hasn't already happened, God will release His mighty hand of protection on our country that once trusted in Him. I know God will not turn His back on His people. If we battle and struggle to break free from His way, eventually He will give in to the desires of our hearts even if its not the best thing for us. All the while He is hoping and knowing if we will return with a repentant heart, although more battered and bruised from the struggle. I don't have any specific scripture at the moment to back up my thoughts, but I'll work on that in my quiet devotion time. For now, these are just my thoughts and observations from my life as a mommy. I've learned a lot more about the character of my heavenly Father while learning to be a mom.
On a personal level, this situation makes me think of how God sometimes withholds certain things from us for a reason. If we trust and hope in Him and keep His will in the center of our lives, we will be blessed beyond imagination. We might not understand why God is holding back the blessings, just like Nate truly doesn't understand yet why we won't give him his way. God is sovereign and He does have a plan and a purpose for every life in every situation.

Nate wanting his own way

Sibling Love

Today I got a glimpse of how easy life would be if I only had one child....just hear me out. This morning I left Nate at home with Jon while I took Mae with me to the doctor's office for an ultrasound (and if you haven't heard lately, it's not what you think...I'm having issues and they wanted to check for a cyst). Anyway, Mae was the logical choice because (a.) she could behave and be entertained with books and a board game in the waiting area and (b.) Nate still needs his morning nap - especially on days he wakes up at 5:15!!! So, the appointment and lab work didn't last as long as I thought so Mae and I sneaked over to a coffee shop in Five Points - a kid-friendly coffee shop that has shelves of children's books and toys beside miniature chairs and tables, next door to an upscale toy store. Anyway, Mae was SO well behaved, and complimented by the office staff on her behavior that I treated her to a little scoop of chocolate gelato...at 10AM! I sipped a skinny frozen mocha while we dealt a round of cards - a Princess Snow White Matching Card Game, that is. She was such a big girl and it gave me something to look forward to when she's older and still wants to hang out with her mom at the local coffee shop - am I dreaming here or what?? I don't know...honestly, I always enjoyed my mom's company as a teenager, and still do now! It sure is nice having a "big little girl" to hang out with, doing special things we can only do without baby brother, or as Jon refers to Nate - without"Natezilla" tagging along.
Now, don't go feeling so sorry for Nate right about now - he had his moment in glory as well. Jon took Mae to church and left Nate behind with me since we're the two "sickies" left in the house. Man, I put him to sleep at 6:15 and he'll be out for at least 12 hours...hopefully~ Easy, Breezy bedtime for Nate. Hence, a blog post for the first time in weeks.
I did get to spend some quality time with Nate one day while Mae was spending the night at Grammie's house for the first time alone. I got to see him play without someone taking toys away from him and I could hear him talk without Mae talking over him... He's getting really smart - stacking blocks, pushing cars, nesting cups, etc...
All that said, it's great to be able to spend some time with just one of the kids alone but it was so nice having them both back in their respective carseats in the van making funny faces and blowing kisses at each other. I love the sibling love...

That's Imagination!

So, I took a few psych. classes in college and I know some of them covered childhood development. I'm trying to remember what was covered on the subject of the imagination. Although, none of them could have possibly prepared me for witnessing my own child's development of her own imagination. Over the past few weeks her mind has been going in new directions and she's playing in a way she's never played before, she's pretending! Of course she's role-playing with her dolls, acting out her newfound "mommy skills" with her dolls and talking to herself in the mirror while she plays dress up. It's this other side of her imagination that sparks my interest the most...Her beloved pink knit blanket has become a fishing pole cast over the edge of the couch to hook a prize. Other times the blanket become a rope to climb or a fancy new hair-do draped over her head.
It sort of reminds me of Linus and his own little security blanket from the Peanuts cartoon. Linus was always my favorite..always had it so together. Come to think of it, I do remember learning about Charles Shultz in my abnormal psychology class. Chasing rabbits. Back to subject matter...I commented to Jon while he was driving us home from church one night that "Not many two-year-olds can play with a bookmark and a flip flop quite like that..." as I watched Mae play very contendly with her shoe in one hand and a fancy bookmark in the other...I'm still unsure about the specifics. I do love to play and pretend with her, but lately it's become more interesting to watch her play and pretend all on her own.
She even drags Nate into the game at times, usually unwillingly on his behalf. At least in her mind, he's plays along with her even if he is just out to use all her doll's hands as teething toys. He does still thinks she's the greatest thing ever...even if she does put silly hats on his head and make him drink tea from a princess tea cup. Poor little fella. I'm just thankful that she's not pushing him out of her room...instead she pulls him down to stay in her room longer. I'm just wondering how long that will last!
On a closing note, I have heard that if a child has a good imagination, like if a child has imaginary friends per say, then they are more likely to be a "gifted" child. Ahhh...I knew it from birth, Mae IS gifted! (Please note the sarcasim here since I'm in complete awarness that my little Mae is doing what most kids do, play and pretend!). I'm really hoping no "Drop Dead Freds" pop out of her imagination anytime soon!

God in the family

"You're a girl, Mommy. And I'm a girl too!" Mae reminds me almost daily. She's noticing that girls have longer hair, wear dresses and hair bows and that boys - don't. She's also learning about our family and where she belongs. The other day I was trying to teach her what "family" means while we were on vacation with Grammie, Grampy, Uncle Chris, Aunt Suzanne and two of her cousins. I started out asking her, "Mae, who's in our family?" She thought for a moment, "Umm..." as she clicked her tongue and stared at the ceiling to help her think of the right answer. At first I didn't think she had the right answer, but actually her answer was perfect. "God is in our family!" she finally replied. I explained that God gave us our family and started naming all of the family members she knows well. After I named a few she went back over the list and identified them as either a boy or a girl...she's putting that together very well!
I hope Mae and Nate always see God in our family.

Favorite Kitchen Tips

I wanted to pass along my three favorite kitchen tips. I think I learned them on Rachael Ray, but I can't really remember for sure...

One, to clean the microwave easily just bring a bowl of water with a bit of lemon juice to boil in the microwave then just wipe out the oven with a paper towel. No harsh chemicals to worry about and no scrubbing necessary. Although you may have to take the turning tray out to wash in the sink. It helps to get rid of odors that get trapped too.

Two, to get all the grime off a can opener, and to make it perform like new again just run wax paper through the can opener a few times. Repeat whenever it gets gunky again. This trick has saved me a few bucks every few months from having to buy another can opener. I've had the same one (cheap from walmart) for a year or so now and the handle is starting to break from using it so long.

And lastly, instead of using a cook book stand (especially for recipe cards and magazine cut outs), I use a chip clip and clip the recipe onto my cabinet door. It's easy to read and hard to spill or splatter anything on the recipe. LOVE THIS ONE!

Some people have told me they have a hard time leaving comments, and I need to check into that because I would love for you to be able to pass along your favorite little tricks! I think everyone is looking for fast, effective ways to make cooking and cleaning easier!

Nature or Nurture??

Careful, Cautious, Clean....Classic "first-child syndrome" coming out in Mae. We went to a print shop yesterday to laminate a few things (ran out of contact paper and so did Walmart!) and the floor was old and dusty. I was so embarrassed (but a little proud inwardly) when Mae replied, "Messy, Messy, Messy." to the printers' kind words, "May I help you?" as she looked down at the floor in need of a good sweep.

I had to explain that it's OK to get in the baby pool after we get a little grass in the water, and that it's perfectly acceptable to eat pudding with your fingers when it's an art project on the back deck. She checked on that rule a few times before digging into the pudding paint.

She's plenty messy at supper time, or at any meal time for that matter. But otherwise she usually keeps a pretty tight ship, especially when compared to some two-year-olds who are simply acting their age. Sometimes I wonder, "What have I created??" when she demands perfection, or cleans up after the other preschoolers in Sunday School... Then again, with the combination of Jon's perfectionist nature mixed with my determined spirit what else can we expect but a little girl who knows exactly what she wants and how she wants it. On the other hand, I've heard this strong-willfulness peaks around three years old! I guess the Nature v/s Nurture battle will never be resolved.

Humble Beginnings

We're still in our beginning, only being married five years on August 7, but we definitely haven't stayed in the same place all that time. We haven't stayed the same physically, emotionally, spiritually or mentally either. That's another story for another time. This is about our home. The first two houses, which we rented, we lived in were both small and built before central heating and air was a common household commodity in the south...same story for the lack of dishwasher, washer and dryer units (luckily, these were added later, but not original to the house), and neither house had more than one bathroom. When we were looking to buy our first home we made a list of things we needed and things we wanted. On the top of my list was that we have more than one bathroom and that neither bathroom include PINK tile! Apparently tile came in two colors in the 1950's, blue and pink. We were "fortunate" enough to have pink tile in both rental homes. We did our best and made it our home. The first house (pictured below) was VERY tidy, VERY clean and definitely NOT baby-proof. There were no toys, except for the cat's toy mouse and I cleaned every week like I now attempt to clean every month. We both worked full-time, ate most meals out and went away for weekend trips often. We loved our little "dollhouse" and I still miss the way the floor furnace would creak and crack in the winter. I loved curling up with a book (which I was able to do often) while Toby the cat stretched out across my lap. I could sit on that little porch and watch the neighbor's kids play. We didn't have TV for the first two or three years we were married, and I recommend that for all newlyweds. We also have never lived less than an hour's drive from our parents, which I also reccomend for newlyweds :)

Awww...look at the newlyweds,

so unsuspecting (in a good way of course!)

Our second home was a last-minute find once we found out Jon was accepted into pharmacy school at UGA. He was put on the waiting list for the second year in a row and we didn't find out until July that he was accepted and we would be moving to Athens. I was in the second trimester of pregnancy with Mae and we needed at least two bedrooms. It took a lot of cleaning, clearing out and hard work (mostly by our moms) to get that place livable...but it's where we brought Mae home from the hospital, where I rocked, prayed and sang lullabies in her nursery before she was born that November. From our window I witnessed the farmer neighbors harvest their crops and watched leaves raining down from the surrounding trees. We caught up with those neighbors recently at the Farmer's Market. They said that little house has never been the same since we left :) My kitchen counter top was mostly the tops of the washer, dryer and water heater...In fact that's how the crock pot lid shattered into a million pieces, I learned NOT to use the dryer while also using it for a cook top!

I guess all who have "humble beginnings" are truly blessed. I am fond of my grandparents stories of their first homes, the basement one-bedroom apartment. And I love hearing my parents stories of how they robbed the pennies from their loafers for a run to the store. There's something about not having much that brings couples and families closer together. We still don't have much, or any money or possessions, to call our own. I look around our home and see that most of the furnishings were gifts from family or the bargain we grabbed. We don't have a garage, a pantry or built-in custom ANYTHING! I love our little yellow house and love the closeness it brings to our family. I know I will miss this much-of-nothing phase of life (if it ever ends!) just like I already miss our first two little homes and the memories made there for those short years. We give thanks for God's protection and provision over our home.

Homeschool

I put a book together of all the artwork from Mae's K2 year of preschool at the Learning Train. A book full of Jack-o-Lantern's, Turkeys, hand prints...Valentines, Snowmen and Shamrocks. Mae doesn't remember making them, and doesn't remember what the leaves look like in the fall or Santa's famous words, "Ho, Ho, Ho!". It will be a whole new experience all over again when the seasons change, Christmas comes and even when we make Valentine cards for our family and friends. Mae and I really enjoyed looking at it together and I explained to her that she made all of the beautiful pictures at school, "Remember, Mae, with Ms. Ashley?" It's been a couple of months since she's been to "school". She looked at me, a little puzzled, and said "No, Mommy. That's my s'cool." as she pointed to the little corner I created for us. I made that space for us to huddle together as we talk about letters, numbers, shapes and colors. We'll sit together on that over-sized pillow and discuss the weather, days of the week and the activities of the day. She'll learn from puzzles, books and bible stories. She'll use markers, crayons, playdough and most importantly her own imagination to discover new things. Our adventure in homeschooling is soon to begin!

I realize that one of the most important parts of preschool is being around other kids, "socialization," and also learning to follow instructions in a group. We'll have to put forth effort to make playdates and do community activities with groups of children. I'm using the ABEKA K3 books for numbers and letters, and following my own ideas for seasonal units. I'm really excited, and I'm so happy Mae is catching on to the new idea that her school is at home.

LIttle reminders of a dream come true...

a little yellow house, a swing set in the backyard, lemonade on a hot day, tiny handprints...everywhere, baskets of toys, artwork displayed on the fridge...

I am surrounded by so many little things that remind me of my dreams come true. The desire of my heart has always been (except for a brief lapse of consciousness in my middle school years when I wanted to be shipped off to a boarding school in California to pursue an acting career along with Jonathan Taylor Thomas...yeah, some of you know what I'm talking about here). Anyway, the desire of my heart has been this: to be a wife, a mother, a homemaker and to do these things in a way pleasing to God. When the weight of my responsibilities, frustrations and uphill battles fall on my shoulder, it's hard to remember that I'm living "the dream." But there are moments in my day that remind me of what a blessed life I have been given.

When I was in college and was really wanting to find my future husband (before Jon and I even met) I would think about what the future might hold...not the big stuff, but the little things. I would think about how I wanted to be a thoughtful wife who would bring my husband a drink while he mowed the lawn, or had a home that was homey enough for our family to enjoy. I wrote letters to my "future husband" telling him these things and wrote one very important letter which I reserved for our wedding day. Thinking about the future and praying A LOT on the subject made the wait worth while and helped me through the tough times when I didn't see marriage anywhere in sight (or any good prospects on campus!). Jon and I met at my brother's church, became friends, started dating, got engaged and got married within a couple of years. Our fifth wedding anniversary is coming up on August 7 and we've gone through a lot of changes since we said, "I do." Good changes, and difficult changes but nonetheless my dreams have come true.

"Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children,
to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home..."
Titus 2:4a

Daddy Date

Waiting for Daddy...

Flowers for Mae

Mae had her first date last night...with her Daddy! She was so excited all day waiting for Jon to come home from work and pick her up for their special time together. She had seen the two of us go on a date last week and she couldn't wait to have Daddy all to herself this time around. While getting dressed for the evening affair, she chose her outfit, shoes, bracelet and purse all by herself. Of course with the shoes she choose she had to take a pair of socks in her purse to wear on the playground. She even insisted that she wear a bow in her hair for the special occasion. I don't really know how she knew to do all of that on her own...but she did! She has really been wanting me to take her picture A LOT lately, so this was a perfect opportunity for a model photo shoot. I could literally see her self-esteem rising...even more so when Daddy brought home flowers for the beginning of their date together. Mae wanted "chicky 'n fries" from McDonald's and Jon went all out including apple juice and ice cream. They were gone for TWO hours and had a great time. It will have to become a monthly ritual for the two of them to get away together and have their special time. Jon is a great role model for what she should look for in a husband and father to her own children. I try not to think about that too much, but sometimes I just can't help it! Now, tomorrow night it's my turn to go out with Jon again. We're trying to go out once a week together on a date by ourselves. It's a little challenging to find babysitters and a block of time every week, but the time we spend together is very rewarding! I'm planning to take Mae out to pick blueberries one morning, just the two of us. Also, before we head to the beach Mae and I will go for pedicures and haircuts! She also LOVES to shoe shop so that will be fun in the fall when we have to shop for shoes again. I'm not sure how Nate will want to spend his special time with Mommy and Daddy, we'll just have to wait and see!

Love Spoken Here

When Jon and I were first married I framed a picture of us that was taken at our wedding of us reciting our vows to each other. I also framed under the picture the words, "Love Spoken Here." I either read an article, heard a sermon, or paid attention to a blurb on the radio that emphasized the need to always speak in love to one another...both verbally and non verbally. Silent treatments, body language and distancing yourself matter just as much as what you say. I remember a couple of important points from our premarital counseling (which was required by both pastors who performed the wedding ceremony). One thing I remember was that when Jon and I are having a difficult time communicating or having a problem that we should practice hand-holding. This seemed a little silly at the time, but we've actually had to do this a few times in our soon-to-be five year marriage. It makes us sit down and use a calm tone with each other to communicate about what's really going on to cause tension. Also, praying together at the end of the day will always ensure that you will never go to bed angry. That was the other little piece of advice we got about communicating in our marriage. I've also heard that communication problems and finances are the two major issues a marriage will face. We can attest to that as well! A few recent events have caused me to remember all of this...

First of all, the news of the popular couple "Jon and Kate" and their dissolving marriage has caused me to look at how important communication is in a marriage. I'm sure that's not their only issue, but if you watch the show you've seen how the communicate with each other. It's not usually done while holding hands!

Also, I've noticed the tone I use with my children lately and I don't like what I'm hearing. Sure, it's been a stressful couple of weeks, but I need to practice better self-control with my tone of voice. I watched a webisode of 18 kids and counting (or is it 17 kids and counting?). Anyway, she was giving advice for parents and suggested that one thing you can do is always focus on using a soft tone. We have three rules in our house (posted on our fridge) and one important rule we all follow is using kind words. I think I might have mentioned this before, but here it is again. It's important that all of us follow those rules. The rules are to use kind words, helping hands and listening ears -giving mutual respect to every member of the family. I'm writing this to remind me and to hold me accountable to the proclamation that Love is spoken here.

This isn't exactly the video I was talking about, but it's still really good advice! I tried posting the video directly, but it wasn't working at the time. I'll try again later, but for now if you want to see it you can click on the link below.

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/18-kids-and-counting-advice-for-newlyweds.html

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/18-kids-and-counting-secrets-for-a-healthy-marriage.html

Nate's First Year

Scroll down to turn off the playlist before watching the slideshow.

Time

I have always been fascinated with time...how quickly it goes by at the same time it creeps. From different angles and perspectives, time takes on different forms. I find myself thinking a lot lately about "this time last year." This time last year Nate was a couple of days away from delivery. His delivery was a scheduled C-section so we knew the date and hour of his arrival (praying he didn't make an entrance unexpectedly sooner). I was cleaning, cooking, freezing meals and NESTING last June 19th and it doesn't seem like very long ago. But in other ways it seems like an eternity since last June. I look at pictures and think of how I was in "survival mode" with a 20 month old and a newborn, and a husband who was in school and working late nights. In other ways, Nate should still be a newborn and Mae shouldn't be such a big girl. I commented on how quickly a year can go by when you're preoccupied with a newborn. Jon responded that I better not get any ideas on how to make his last year of Pharmacy school go by that quick. Nate's first year went by MUCH quicker than Mae's first year...I'm still amazed at how smart he is already, thinking things like "You shouldn't be able to do that already!" Then I remember that he's a year old! I'm so thankful that we made it through this first year with TWO children and that we have a happy, healthy baby boy.
I'm going to try to post the slide show I made for his birthday. I might try to go back in the files and post Mae's too. It really helps give a visual of where the year has gone...

Heart Song

Our church just finished Vaction Bible School. It started Sunday and ended last night. The youngest class was for 2,3, and 4 year olds. I was just going to stay with Mae the first night, but the class was full and they needed extra volunteers for the other nights. So I had a front row seat to witness Mae's behavior, involvment and attitudes. Mae had a great time during craft and snack time. She played hard with her friends on the playground when it was our turn to play. She listened well and paid attention at story time. She even remembered learning about the plagues from the Old Testament and told Jon about the frogs and "bumblebees" (they were flies in the Bible, but she remembered bees) when we got home one night. It was during the singing when she would cling to me and not let go until we were clearly out of the sanctuary. I think it had a lot to do with all the older kids around, the people dressed in costumes to take part in the story later, and the puppets popping up from behind the choir rail. Either way she would just sit there showing no emotion at all, picking her nose for entertainment or cling to me in fear. However, last night they gave all the kids a CD of the songs they had been learning (along with motions) and much to my surprise when I put that CD in the car this morning Mae started singing, smiling and doing every motion that she had been watching this week. At first I was a little annoyed at this since all of her friends and teachers had been trying to get her to loosen up and sing and dance, but she had no part in that at all. I thought to myself, "I need to take a video of this, because no one at church is going to beleive me." My next thought was, "What does that matter anyway?" The important thing is that she is learning it, she is enjoying it now, and the words she is singing are about the love, faithfulness and power of God.
I find myself doing this very same thing every week. A song at church may strike my emotions by either making me want to dance or lay on my face and cry, worshiping and praising God. But, do I do this at church....not exactly. I have, however, done this in the privacy of my own quiet times at home. I don't want to push Mae to perform, I want to help her practice in praise. I'm very proud of Mae and I hope she always holds a song in her heart no matter where she is or how she expresses it.

A Mommy Day

Waking. Calling. Mixing. Warming. Feeding. Cleaning. Playing. Changing. Clothing. Brushing. Playing. Feeding. Cleaning. Napping. Resting. Sorting. Folding. Feeding. Cleaning. Playing. Feeding. Cleaning. Frantic. Running. Chasing. Catching. Bathing. Brushing. Reading. Praying. Sleeping. Waking. Crying. Rocking. Singing. Swaying. Sleeping. Waking. Crying. Feeding. Sleeping. Waking. Repeating.

This routine sounds all to familiar to a mommy. A day in the life of mommy is always different from the day before, but always the same in so many ways. There's a gradual change that you don't notice from day to day, but at some point you look back at the past weeks, months or years and wonder how this little girl became this little girl or how this baby will be celebrating a birthday in a few weeks. I remember as a child as I grew taller people would suggest to my mom that she put bricks on my head to keep me from growing so fast. I wish that would work because I have a lot of bricks lying around and I have two children that just won't stop growing at alarming rates. I find myself daily taking mental pictures and notes of certain moments, and if Jon's around I suggest that he do the same. Things like...a sweet moment spent with Mae, a funny thing she says or does, an easily persuaded smile or laugh from Nate or the way Mae and Nate play, dance and laugh with each other in the backseat of the van. They eat and sleep way too much to slow down their growth and in some ways I'm excited to watch them grow older. In other ways, I just want to freeze time for a while even amidst all the constant motion and daily challenges of handling two little ones. I'm just doing my best to soak it up, every little bit I can.

"I hope you have one just like you..."

I don't really remember my parents saying that much. Then again, maybe my Dad said it a few times when he was working through his frustrations of my "mule-headed" behavior. He laughs and jokes about it now, and I think he beleives Mae and Nate could do no wrong (he has those "Grampy Glasses" on now). My mom would always try to wish children upon me who behaved just like me too, but she always tried to pick out the good characteristics. I think she was a firm believer (and still is! Mom, you can comment to speak for youself if I have this wrong) in the idea that if a child is praised they will become confident adults, but if they are constantly told they are bad they will become just that and meet those expectations of misbehavior and mischief. My mom used positive words and we were never allowed to say any negative comments towards each other, not even in a fleeting moment of anger or frustration. We have a similar rule posted in our house, "We use kind words." That goes for everyone in the family. I've gotten off topic completely. What I was meaning to blog about was our trip to the Mayfield Dairy and how Mae disproved my drifting thoughts that she might have been switched at birth. Sometimes I have these irrational fears that someone is going to show up at our doorstep one day with an olive complected, brown eyed little girl with sandy hair explaining that Mae belongs to a blue-eyed blonde who is a slim 6' 3" model with fair skin. However, I saw a glimpse of myself or maybe even a 360 degree reflection of myself in Mae's behavior at the dairy. Actually, I see that same determination in Mae quite often. By the way, has anyone read the strong-willed child book?? I'm thinking of putting that on my list...

Mae refused to wear the required hair net to take the tour of the dairy. While driving to the dairy I was expecting fields of dairy cows, milking demonstrations, etc... I was teaching Mae a song about the cows and singing "Old McDonald had a Farm" right along with her because we were on our way to see the dairy cows! But instead we were shown a video about what they do after the milk arrives from the cows to the big warehouse dairy and invited on a tour of how they make Mayfield milk and ice cream the best stuff on earth. I have to say that Mae is becoming quite the fashionista and probably recognized that a hair net is not on the latest runways. Most of all, she was just being "mule-headed" just like her mama. Supposedly I had these sort of "issues" with new experiences as a child. One instance was at a theme park where I refused to have my hand stamped. No matter how much my parents tried to explain that to ride all the rides beyond the entrance gate I had to have a stamp. I don't remember how the story ended, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't with a stamp on my hand. I try to remember the way I was and get into Mae's head to understand her feelings and thoughts. But sometimes the "mule-headedness" of my father comes out instead and I just get frustrated that she won't comply with such a simple little task in order to get through to the fun part. Wow, I could ponder on that for a while but I won't do that here.

So, we missed the tour but Mae was a happy little clam when we sat down with an ice cream cone. She did learn a song about how the cows give us milk, cheese, ice cream, butter and MEAT! Maybe she made the connection that ice cream comes from milk that comes from cows... Lesson learned: Next time make sure the dairy farm has real, life-sized cows. Toddlers don't appreciate the homogenization process or flash-freezed freshness techniques (or a giant brown cow made of ???). Oh well, maybe in a few years we'll try the tour again. I've posted a link to the Mayfield dairy in case anyone is interested and also for my own reference. http://www.mayfielddairy.com/

Jon and Mae waiting for moose tracks!

If only I could've snapped a picture of Nate in the hair net...sooo cute and he looked so clueless about it all. I had no extra time or energy while dealing with Mae's meltdown to capture that moment. Oh well, at least it provided a laugh for Jon and me. Mae didn't think it was funny at all :)

Nate's Antics

Three words describe our little "Nater Tater": busy, busy, BUSY! I'm doing my best to limit him to only one video in the excersaucer a day and that is HARD! If I want to get anything done I have to put him among toys as deep as I can (so as to make it difficult for him to climb over them) then run to do my task before he catches me or finds something to get into before I can replace him to his safe spot with the toys. Does this make sense? Just imagine this: I'm unloading the dishwasher and Nate is sitting on the rug in back of the kitchen surrounded by toys and a few feet away from "danger zones." I place him on the rug, run to the dishwasher to unload a couple of dishes, keeping a constant watchful eye on him while he makes his way either to (a.) the shoe bin in efforts to chew on our dirty shoes, (b.) pull to a stand on the garbage can to watch the lid swing, or (c.) knock the broom down to bang the dustpan on the floor and check for any lost cherrios. All of these activities are much more interesting to him than the HUNDREDS of toys that we have in our house. I got smart the other day while cooking supper and gave him a real pot and spatula, he played with those on the kitchen floor for a good 10 minutes. I remember doing this with Mae (but she wasn't nearly as busy if I remember correctly), I would give her something from that drawer in the kitchen that we all have with the odds and ends cookware (garlic press, measuring spoons and cups, mixer attachments, etc...) She would play with those kinds of "toys" while I cooked our entire meal. She was intrigued.



Anyway, like I was saying Nate is busy. His favorite toys other than the shoes, broom, dustpan and garbage can lid are the garbage can liners in the bathroom and beside the changing table (they make a very fun noise!) and Mae's mini-potty (isn't that lovely?!). Obviously he never actually gets to play with these things but he sure does try over and over and over throughout the day. I'm not one to completely, to the letter baby-proof the house, or contain the baby in playpens or with baby gates. I do enough to make it count (shut doors, cover outlets, remove obvious dangers) but mainly I just watch the kids to make sure they're safe. I know this phase will pass with Nate and if I just remove all the things he shouldn't touch or if I completely baby proof so he can just do whatever he wants, how will he learn limits? Eventually he'll grow tired and bored with the everyday items in the house, but for now he's discovering new things with his new-found skills of crawling and cruising. I do enjoy (and laugh at) what he's discovering about his abilities and surroundings. It's amazing to see this once, not-so-long-ago immobile infant turn into a mischievous, busy little toddler.

Strawberry Fields Forever

We picked strawberries last week for the first time this year. The strawberry field at Washington Farms is massive and abundant with ripe, red, juicy strawberries. Mae LOVES strawberries and I'm searching for plenty of recipes in order to use the bucket full of fruit we brought home. I've realized while loading up our pictures from the farm that I have similar pictures from last year.

Mae last year.............................and this year.

Nate last year..........................and this year!

Also, there are a few trips such as those to the strawberry field that repeat year after year. In a way, I guess we've started our little traditions...

pumpkin patch in the fall,

baking cookies and trimming the tree where each ornament has a story at Christmas,

planting flowers and puddle jumping in the spring,

picking strawberries and blueberries in the summer...

These aren't big, expensive affairs but they mean a lot. It doesn't take a vacation or a lot of money to make fun, memorable experiences for a family. In fact, in some cases it's just taking the ordinary, everyday moments and turning them into something bigger and better. By doing these things year after year, I can see a parallel comparison of how much Mae has grown and matured over the past year. Last year it was difficult to keep Mae from stomping through the strawberry patch. She wanted to eat the fruit that had fallen on the ground, and mush it all between her fingers. This year, she understood only to pick the red berries, not to step on them on the ground, stay on the path, and that we have to wash them before we eat them. We're making progress! Maybe next year she'll actually be able to understand that those strawberries come from the little white flowers and before that they are planted in the ground as seedlings.

I want to keep up these traditions to ingrain the good memories in our kids. I think by doing things over and over (and taking lots of pictures and looking at them often!) they will most likely have a memory that will stick forever.

Precious Child

Just for the morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream out and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you're going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how your were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given. I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and scream inside they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you goodnight, I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day.

--Author Unknown

Licking the Spoon

Do you recall when you were small, Mom baking in the afternoon?
Those special treats were made complete if she let you lick the spoon. It seemed so good, and Mom understood, it was a taste of what was to come. Those little bites brought much delight - each savored on your tongue. That time is gone, but thoughts live on because of Mom's love and a plain old spoon. The tables are turned, and I'll use what I've learned. The years pass by so soon.

Now, I'm all grown with kids of my own, and it seems to be quite an honor To call each one and to see the fun that it brings my son and daughters. With eager feet, they'll race to beat, as if the first one there can grab it, But, I open the drawer and dip in two more. There's plenty for each to have.

Friend, God's love is a delicacy from above - like a bouquet of flowers in full bloom. His lovingkindess He shows is timeless - just think of His Word as a spoon. Come taste the splendor, so rich and tender, given free for you're His child and adored. Rush in and savor, there's no sweeter flavor. Praise Him for He is the Lord! Lift your voices high, and your hands to the sky. Exalt Him and seek His way. Make a run for the spoon - morning, night and noon. Worship in His holy array.

Abide in His Word, and heed what you've heard, for He's promised His best is to come. His Kingdom must reign. He's covered each stain. Long for the return of His Son! He's coming again, though no one knows when, I pray it will be real soon. Beloved, hold fast, and with the trumpet's blast, may we each be found licking the spoon.

It's my prayer -- Donna Hauntsman

Springtime

Mae is the perfect combination - she loves to be a girl and play dress up, have tea parties, take care of baby dolls, etc... BUT she also LOVES to play outside. She loves to make a mess, loves to eat and loves, loves, loves to play in the dirt. Yesterday was a good opportunity for Jon and I to get some work done in the yard (soft dirt for planting) so we suited Mae in her rain boots and coat to let her puddle jump and dig in the dirt. Nate was taking a late afternoon nap while we were outside. I know he and Mae will have so much fun when they're old enough to really play together. Mae already wants to include him in everything and treats him like a friend (even the part about not wanting to share) and I can hardly wait to see them laughing and splashing together next spring.

We had a great Easter this year, no trips to the ER like the previous two years in a row. Jon, however, woke up with the stomach bug that had been passed around our house and barely made it to church (which would've been bad because he was playing lead guitar for the choir that morning). He was even feeling better by lunchtime to enjoy a nice Easter meal. He did miss the kids opening their Easter baskets, but I got it all on video for him to watch later. My favorite part about them opening their baskets was how excited Mae was to share the experience with Nate. When she saw the two baskets lined up in front of the fireplace like stockings at Christmas she exclaimed, "Look Nate!" as she put his basket in front of him. She preceded to show him everything in his basket, giving it to him one by one, before she opened her own. The thing she was most excited about in her basket was a pair of sparkly pink flip-flops and when she saw them she immediately wanted to share her joy and excitement with Nate. He didn't seem to care as much about the flip-flops as she did since he just kept on drooling over his Easter eggs. I think Christmas should be really fun this year, Mae is really starting to get into holidays and surprises. Nate will get there soon, he'll probably still be more interested in the packaging. Below is one of the videos I took on Easter morning, remember to turn off the playlist at the bottom of the page.

I always try to be honest, open and positive while blogging. It's really like therapy for me to write out my thoughts and to dissect my day, or week depending on how often I'm able blog. It's also helped me seek out those little moments throughout my day that welcome me into motherhood time and time again. Everyday, small moment that still leave me in wonder that I'm a mommy. Cuddling with Mae and Nate in my lap, watching Mae attempt a new task and helping her work through the frustrations that might bring, seeing Nate learn to crawl and feed himself, and the list goes on. When you're a stay at home mom you don't necessarily have a daily task sheet that you can mark off throughout your day and then have someone come behind you to check your work. It's not a job that has promotions or pay raises. In fact, the tasks only get harder, the rewards become fewer and demands increase as you have more children. This isn't sounding very positive, but the point I'm trying to make is that a mommy can find those rewards, that joy from small everyday moments...even if it's just a minute long tickle-fest, or one second cuddle from a busy toddler, a kiss on the check (muffled by a pacifier) when Mae climbs in our bed at 2am, and the list goes on. Mae and Nate are growing at lightening speed and I want to savor and hold these thoughts and moments in my mind forever. Always thinking of our future, but also holding onto the present.

"It's not like we're going to wake up tomorrow and they're going to be three. Tomorrow they're just going to be one day older than they are today. [That's just how we have to look at it so it doesn't become too overwhelming]." -Kate Gosselin

Toddler 'Tudes

Mae is developing in every aspect - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc... She's also developing a little attitude of her own. She's practicing already for her little teenage looks she'll give us when we embarrass her or tell her she can't go out on a school night (or any other night if Jon has anything to say about it!). I think I've even see her eyes roll in the back of her head when I told her not to jump on the couch...
I need to capture these moments on film in order to have a more well-rounded image of Mae at two years old. She's stubborn and testy...she'll stare us down when we tell her to do something in order to say, "Well, what are you going to do if I don't listen to you?" She's really testing us lately to see if we're going to follow through with what we say. We do have high expectations for her, but the majority of what we expect are safety issues: To come to us when we call her, for her to stop running when we tell her to stop (especially in a public place). I'm wondering if she will always test her boundaries...I'm expecting to be in this for the long haul and for her to constantly question our authority at least through the teenage years and perhaps into college. Right now I'm thankful that testing her limits only includes jumping on the bed, bouncing a ball off of Nate's head and coloring outside the lines (that's not really testing her limits, but in her world that's pretty important). I'm good with preschoolers, pretty understandable with school-age kids, but when it comes to teenagers I'm pretty clueless.
I caught glimpses of The Doctors and The View on ABC this morning. Both shows focused on "Secret Lives of Teens."Here are the links to their topics today:

http://abc.go.com/daytime/theview/recaps
http://thedoctorstv.com/main/show_page/212

I didn't watch either show in their entirety so I'm not sure of the total content, nonetheless it's daunting from what I was watching. I'll have to go to my brother and his wife (the youth pastors) to get the "low down" (do they say that anymore?) on what's up in the world of teenagers when we reach that point. Today I'm going to color, read "Hide and Seek Little People on the Farm", and enjoy Mae wanting my constant attention. I'll be begging for her attention in a few years...

Sweet Summertime

I've made a list of all the activites I want to fit in this spring/summer and I posted it on the side of the blog page. I thought I would share some of my resources for our summer fun. Here's a log of all the places I've visited on the web to come up with ideas for special days during the summer. I'll probably continue to add to the list. I'm open for more suggestions and ideas too!

Around town, Athens Parent Magazine is a great resource and includes a calender. If you don't live near Athens, try to find a similar resource in your area. I must say though that Athens does offer a lot for families and we're close to Atlanta too. Athefest is on our list for the end of June, they have a Kidsfest within the music festival.

Babycenter has tips for everyday fun to keep the kids busy and happy.

Mayfield Dairy tour, it's about an hour away from Colbert in Brasselton, GA and also in Athens, TN

Pick Your own Strawberries(beginning in April) and Blueberries at Washington Farms, there are pick your own farms nearby wherever you live. There are a ton of pick your own peaches between Watkinsville and Madison, and Madison, GA is a neat place to spend an afternoon.

Day out with Thomas, Mae loves Thomas the train so we're going to the Tennessee Railway Museum in May while we're visiting family. The Thomas Train tours to many different railway stations all over the country. It's a bit pricey, but all of the other activies are basically free.

INK museum in Gainsville, GA - I've been wanting to take Mae here for a while and now I think she's old enough to enjoy it! It's an Interactive Neighborhood for Kids.

We enjoyed Legion Pool last summer, and if you're affiliated with UGA you can go too! It's a nice pool with a lot of young families.

Memorial Day weekend in Ringgold, GA = 1890's day. It's hot, crowded, lots of food, family games, arts and crafts, gospel music, baton twirlers and cloggers but it's home, and it's tradition

Fourth of July in Colbert = Parade and arts and crafts festival, a smaller version and more crowded version of 1890's day. Our church always does the BBQ and we practically have a front row seat to the parade from our house.

Athens Farmer's Market is a fun, yummy and somewhat educational place to take the family every Saturday morning from May until November. Take home local, seasonal foods or a handmade baby bonnet or pretty pricey bar of soap. Oh, don't forget the free samples! Grab a coffee on your way in because it will still be a little chilly. I can't wait to stock up on Farmer Bishop's blend of coffee only made for the farmer's market mornings. Choose a treat from the bake stand (local bakers only) and trade a couple of bucks for a fresh loaf of bread. They have different vendors and selections every week, and sometimes music and/or demonstrations of sorts. You can even take home a bouquet of wildflowers or sunflowers for a few dollars. It's a fun way to shop for your fruits and veggies! I'm sure every town has a farmer's market of some sort.