In His Presence

Mae and Nate were unusually restless today at naptime. They tossed and turned, and Nate was talking to himself when I went in to remind him to be still and quiet. He said, "Mommy, sleep with me?" So, I decided to lay down for a minute with him and he cuddled close, gave me a few kisses and put his hand on my cheek as he drifted off to sleep in a matter of minutes. Not long after he had fallen asleep, Mae was calling out for me. So, I went to check on her and she said she couldn't sleep. So, I nestled in beside her and she turned to look at me for a minute then closed her eyes. In less than five minutes, she had fallen fast asleep too. Sometimes they just need Mommy to be a little bit closer to them. They knew I was in the house, that I was nearby protecting them and not leaving them. They just needed to see me, to feel me. Nate needed touch my cheek as he drifted to sleep. There are times in our lives that we need the same from God. We know He's there, watching out for us and taking care of us, but we just need to feel Him a little closer, stare into His face, touch His presence. This is a time in my life when I need Him to cuddle up a little closer to me, to draw me nearer, to be right under His wing. I need to sense His presence so thick that I almost feel that I can touch Him. I am amazed that we can be so drawn to such a Holy God that we are allowed and priveledged to feel His presence. I'm thankful for the cross, Lord.

You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:5-10

The Sun Follows Me

Mae and I often have discussions on how it appears that the sun or moon follow us while we're driving in the van. She insists that it actually does follow her and I try to explain that I used to think so too...when I was little. I'm sure if Jon was in the car with us during one of these conversations he would have an eloquent metaphysical response to explain why it appears that the sun or moon follows you while you're moving in a car. I remember enough about the fifth grade model of the solar system (where one student stands still in the center with a yellow beach ball to represent the sun and the rest of the class moves around that person with various types and sizes of spherical objects) to know that the sun doesn't actually move. It's just an illusion that the sun follows you. I try to explain this to Mae. She is insistent, stubborn and confident about her observation. "No, Mommy, I SEE the sun and it IS following ME!" I decided to give in and let her believe, for this moment, that the sun is indeed following our Honda Odyssey on the way to Chickfila. I said, "It must be because you're so bright, happy and special that the sun follows you!" The van became quiet for the moment as Mae sat smiling victoriously in her carseat and I thought about how happy I am that the Son follows me. I feel Him following me, I SEE Him following me. Even though there is a whole earth for him to shed light upon, He chose me and loves me. He is concerned about the smallest details in my life and I forget sometimes that He's not solely mine because He makes our relationship so personal. I am thankful that the Son thought me special enough to die for on the cross and to still love me no matter how many times I fail. Does the Son follow you too?

Disclaimer:
I know it is usually stated that we follow the Son, but sometimes it feels like He's right beside me and He's there to catch me when I fall. I do not lead in my relationship with Christ, but the personal relationship I have with Him leads me to feel that He is with me all the time...sort of like following me.