Love Spoken Here

When Jon and I were first married I framed a picture of us that was taken at our wedding of us reciting our vows to each other. I also framed under the picture the words, "Love Spoken Here." I either read an article, heard a sermon, or paid attention to a blurb on the radio that emphasized the need to always speak in love to one another...both verbally and non verbally. Silent treatments, body language and distancing yourself matter just as much as what you say. I remember a couple of important points from our premarital counseling (which was required by both pastors who performed the wedding ceremony). One thing I remember was that when Jon and I are having a difficult time communicating or having a problem that we should practice hand-holding. This seemed a little silly at the time, but we've actually had to do this a few times in our soon-to-be five year marriage. It makes us sit down and use a calm tone with each other to communicate about what's really going on to cause tension. Also, praying together at the end of the day will always ensure that you will never go to bed angry. That was the other little piece of advice we got about communicating in our marriage. I've also heard that communication problems and finances are the two major issues a marriage will face. We can attest to that as well! A few recent events have caused me to remember all of this...

First of all, the news of the popular couple "Jon and Kate" and their dissolving marriage has caused me to look at how important communication is in a marriage. I'm sure that's not their only issue, but if you watch the show you've seen how the communicate with each other. It's not usually done while holding hands!

Also, I've noticed the tone I use with my children lately and I don't like what I'm hearing. Sure, it's been a stressful couple of weeks, but I need to practice better self-control with my tone of voice. I watched a webisode of 18 kids and counting (or is it 17 kids and counting?). Anyway, she was giving advice for parents and suggested that one thing you can do is always focus on using a soft tone. We have three rules in our house (posted on our fridge) and one important rule we all follow is using kind words. I think I might have mentioned this before, but here it is again. It's important that all of us follow those rules. The rules are to use kind words, helping hands and listening ears -giving mutual respect to every member of the family. I'm writing this to remind me and to hold me accountable to the proclamation that Love is spoken here.

This isn't exactly the video I was talking about, but it's still really good advice! I tried posting the video directly, but it wasn't working at the time. I'll try again later, but for now if you want to see it you can click on the link below.

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/18-kids-and-counting-advice-for-newlyweds.html

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/18-kids-and-counting-secrets-for-a-healthy-marriage.html

Nate's First Year

Scroll down to turn off the playlist before watching the slideshow.

Time

I have always been fascinated with time...how quickly it goes by at the same time it creeps. From different angles and perspectives, time takes on different forms. I find myself thinking a lot lately about "this time last year." This time last year Nate was a couple of days away from delivery. His delivery was a scheduled C-section so we knew the date and hour of his arrival (praying he didn't make an entrance unexpectedly sooner). I was cleaning, cooking, freezing meals and NESTING last June 19th and it doesn't seem like very long ago. But in other ways it seems like an eternity since last June. I look at pictures and think of how I was in "survival mode" with a 20 month old and a newborn, and a husband who was in school and working late nights. In other ways, Nate should still be a newborn and Mae shouldn't be such a big girl. I commented on how quickly a year can go by when you're preoccupied with a newborn. Jon responded that I better not get any ideas on how to make his last year of Pharmacy school go by that quick. Nate's first year went by MUCH quicker than Mae's first year...I'm still amazed at how smart he is already, thinking things like "You shouldn't be able to do that already!" Then I remember that he's a year old! I'm so thankful that we made it through this first year with TWO children and that we have a happy, healthy baby boy.
I'm going to try to post the slide show I made for his birthday. I might try to go back in the files and post Mae's too. It really helps give a visual of where the year has gone...

Heart Song

Our church just finished Vaction Bible School. It started Sunday and ended last night. The youngest class was for 2,3, and 4 year olds. I was just going to stay with Mae the first night, but the class was full and they needed extra volunteers for the other nights. So I had a front row seat to witness Mae's behavior, involvment and attitudes. Mae had a great time during craft and snack time. She played hard with her friends on the playground when it was our turn to play. She listened well and paid attention at story time. She even remembered learning about the plagues from the Old Testament and told Jon about the frogs and "bumblebees" (they were flies in the Bible, but she remembered bees) when we got home one night. It was during the singing when she would cling to me and not let go until we were clearly out of the sanctuary. I think it had a lot to do with all the older kids around, the people dressed in costumes to take part in the story later, and the puppets popping up from behind the choir rail. Either way she would just sit there showing no emotion at all, picking her nose for entertainment or cling to me in fear. However, last night they gave all the kids a CD of the songs they had been learning (along with motions) and much to my surprise when I put that CD in the car this morning Mae started singing, smiling and doing every motion that she had been watching this week. At first I was a little annoyed at this since all of her friends and teachers had been trying to get her to loosen up and sing and dance, but she had no part in that at all. I thought to myself, "I need to take a video of this, because no one at church is going to beleive me." My next thought was, "What does that matter anyway?" The important thing is that she is learning it, she is enjoying it now, and the words she is singing are about the love, faithfulness and power of God.
I find myself doing this very same thing every week. A song at church may strike my emotions by either making me want to dance or lay on my face and cry, worshiping and praising God. But, do I do this at church....not exactly. I have, however, done this in the privacy of my own quiet times at home. I don't want to push Mae to perform, I want to help her practice in praise. I'm very proud of Mae and I hope she always holds a song in her heart no matter where she is or how she expresses it.