Thursday, December 10, 2009

Amazing Race Mommy


After being late for our second playdate of the day, I was describing to a fellow mommy and friend  how the Amazing Race should offer challenges that include the obstacles parents face getting their kids out the door.  For instance, the challenge might include the following:

-Wake with children, feed them, wash them (in the bathtub if necessary), brush their teeth, clip nails if needed, dress them (including "fixing" a little girls' hair properly and chasing down a toddler who doesn't like to wear clothes)
-Start a load of laundry if necessary, clean up breakfast dishes which may involve emptying dishwasher from last nights' late night run of dinner dishes
-Pack diaper bag properly, not forgetting snacks, sippy cups with name labels and any loveys or entertainment necessary for the trip
-Get MATCHING socks and shoes on kids and don't forget jackets, gloves, hats, etc...
-Heard at least two children to the car and buckle them properly in a correctly installed carseat
-You will be judged on performance, mood of children and presentation of the finished products (how well you cleaned, dressed and matched accessories on the children and yourself).
-Make sure diapers are clean and everyone has gone potty (but this doesn't eliminate you from needing to change/take a potty-training preschooler to the bathroom as soon as you reach your destination or even earlier, bonus points for keeping the toddler from touching everything in the bathroom while you help your preschooler go "potty").
- Bonus points awarded if you leave the house clean, toys picked up and a load of laundry NOT in the washing machine or damp in the dryer.  Don't forget bonus points for making yourself presentable including freshly washed hair, neatly shaved legs and makeup beyond basic powder, mascera and chapstick. 
-Of course you will be timed or you will be penalized by having to reschedule the doctor appointment if you're 10 minutes late, or even worse have to find another dentist if you don't show up on time for your first dental cleaning.  Go home, call around town for a dentist with a more lenient late policy and make another appointment for another day in which you'll have to go through this charade again and START OVER!

Preferably, I would REALLY enjoy watching someone who has NEVER had experience in this area and wonders what the big deal is about parents not being able to be on time...
Also, the children involved in this game should be under the age of four, not being able to do anything for themselves or capable of understanding the concept of TIME!!! 





Alternate challenges might include bedtime battles, naptime struggles, picky eater strategies, cleaning the house with the kids home (if the husband is home, you get bonus points for keeping the house clean).


Another portion to this game should include shopping for weekly groceries with two children under the age of three and being able to stick to your shopping list, avoid attention-getting meltdowns, saving more than 10% on your final bill (being able to shop to sales and sort your coupons while in line to pay), and getting all of this done under an hour which is about as long as you'll have before meltdowns begin - kids can't sit in a buggy for more than 30 minutes without getting restless, hungry or tired.



Well, I had fun creating this game and it sure would be fun to watch!  Sometimes I seriously feel like I'm on a timed race while trying to perform my daily tasks in the life of Mae's mommy.

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