When Jon and I were first married I framed a picture of us that was taken at our wedding of us reciting our vows to each other. I also framed under the picture the words, "Love Spoken Here." I either read an article, heard a sermon, or paid attention to a blurb on the radio that emphasized the need to always speak in love to one another...both verbally and non verbally. Silent treatments, body language and distancing yourself matter just as much as what you say. I remember a couple of important points from our premarital counseling (which was required by both pastors who performed the wedding ceremony). One thing I remember was that when Jon and I are having a difficult time communicating or having a problem that we should practice hand-holding. This seemed a little silly at the time, but we've actually had to do this a few times in our soon-to-be five year marriage. It makes us sit down and use a calm tone with each other to communicate about what's really going on to cause tension. Also, praying together at the end of the day will always ensure that you will never go to bed angry. That was the other little piece of advice we got about communicating in our marriage. I've also heard that communication problems and finances are the two major issues a marriage will face. We can attest to that as well! A few recent events have caused me to remember all of this...
First of all, the news of the popular couple "Jon and Kate" and their dissolving marriage has caused me to look at how important communication is in a marriage. I'm sure that's not their only issue, but if you watch the show you've seen how the communicate with each other. It's not usually done while holding hands!
Also, I've noticed the tone I use with my children lately and I don't like what I'm hearing. Sure, it's been a stressful couple of weeks, but I need to practice better self-control with my tone of voice. I watched a webisode of 18 kids and counting (or is it 17 kids and counting?). Anyway, she was giving advice for parents and suggested that one thing you can do is always focus on using a soft tone. We have three rules in our house (posted on our fridge) and one important rule we all follow is using kind words. I think I might have mentioned this before, but here it is again. It's important that all of us follow those rules. The rules are to use kind words, helping hands and listening ears -giving mutual respect to every member of the family. I'm writing this to remind me and to hold me accountable to the proclamation that Love is spoken here.
This isn't exactly the video I was talking about, but it's still really good advice! I tried posting the video directly, but it wasn't working at the time. I'll try again later, but for now if you want to see it you can click on the link below.
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